Believe me, this depressed but INSPIRED for better; songstress wishes.
For that would mean I don’t have powerful shadows of an 18 years old mood disorder. (It’s legal bitches! Grown ass disorder here Lol)😭
In which maintaining a schedule and job would be attainable for a Wonder of a wild woman me.
...coping healthily with a lack of servere suicide contemplation plus lack of serious oversleeping or emotional eating/starving, instead showering/brushing ones teeth regularly (my dentist still says im her favorite)and just really kicking ass in this short ass life.
Winning and taking names by really contributing truly, positively and consistently within this fucked up but precious society.
Not just that; your songstress MaHJ LOVES when her plate is full (yummy pun intended).
So, even if I didn’t have any mood disorders.
I would still over eat because I truly live to eat!😛😋🤤
I would still pack my days with new learning opportunities (definitely would of graduated college), adventures and travel while loving my full time most likely M-F 9-5 career.
Shucks, my career would involve serious travel and probably 9-9 as a healthy, enthusiastic entrepreneur. That’s what healthy MahJ would realistically imagine and hope. And omg, I would already have five (okay maybe 3) precious yet powerful, innocent warriors of light legacies and at least 2 number one platinum albums. (I already have an beyond amazing gift, passions, hundreds of worthy songs, a hero of a handsome; blessing of a soulmate/husband and great sex life so that’s a given)
In which ‘Thank God it’s Friday’ would be, Thee Grind Includes Friday!
Which is true for me.
Despite my depression. I work on my music visions every single day. (My favorite day is Monday! What’s yours?)
[Whether rehearsing my song/performances, recording new songs, going back to old recordings to add more lyrics, edit for further development or just naming unnamed newborn with song titles.]
I work towards my dreams everyday. Not only because it makes me feel most alive. More-like this is exactly why I’m even alive but also I have HUGE visions! (I am a visionary)
So even if I was meant ally healthy-I simply couldn’t afford not to work towards them every single day but with this disorder my focus is always lacking so hardly anything gets done (to my liking of course: I’m also a perfectionist and an emotional wreck naturally) so I absolutely can not and will not afford to miss a day, extra moment or mere minute with this voice and gift of mind.
Eleven minutes is way up by maybe 5-6 minutes (sigh, which of course equals 11!)
STAY INSPIRED and again
HAPPY TGIF...The Grind Includes Today!
(I’m so grateful I even have a passion/Grind that includes every day for me despite the disorder...just can’t accept yet in regards to being even slightly grateful for the trauma. For, I still remember that healthy 4.5 year old who had such a clear and profound vision & necessary fire to accompany it before it all went to shit)
“It’s like I know I want to join the army against hate and will be a great success protecting and defending the love at but I can’t find the strength to simply enlist...wtf is wrong with me!? It’s paralyzing but so easy to correct. It’s torture. I’m so close yet so far away...” MahJ